Arms outstreched
Searching, yearning for just a touch
Of something beyond the pain
Something more than myself
I know you're here God
But can you hear me
Do you see me
Sometimes I'm not so sure
Wait... silence
No, a whisper in the storm
I am here
A calm beyond all surrounds my soul
I have caught a glimpse of the One
The One I used to call Father
Here in my weakest point
His hands covered me
Holding me, never letting go
Hold me closer God
I need to feel You, I need You, only You
I'm running with this feeling
Letting go of all I know
Putting my trust in You
Not daring to look back
You're all I'm living for now...
by yours truly... Jensen
So, it's been a couple of days since I last blogged (yes I know I'm very sketchy on the whole staying consistent thing) anyway life is so amazing. God has totally opened my things, it's like seeing for the first time all over again. I have found true happiness. Happiness as defined by dictionary.com is:
1. the quality or state of being happy.
2. good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.
All of which I have found. It's pretty dang exciting knowing that God can pull me out of my mess and help me to use it to show other people that they aren't alone. Just that thought right there makes me totally happy and excited about living life. Making mistakes is only one part of life, learning for them is another part, but I think the most important part is using those mistakes to help others. Anyone can make a mistake and keep making them. A strong person can make their way out of the mess they have made and learn not to make the same mistake twice. But a smart person learns to rely on God and trust Him to help you out, and let Him be strong for you. Then let Him work in you and heal you so you can in turn be used by Him to help others overcome and heal, and show them how God is truly a loving and caring God, not some tyrant ready to smite you at any given moment. Well that's my random bit of thought for ya...
Peace, Jensen
Ok so for a while now I have had some major walls up between me and God. It started w/ simple things then just got larger and larger to the point that I figured I might as well go out w/ a bang cause I was too far gone. Well that didn't go down so well as one might imagine. God completely broke my heart. So for once in man I would say pretty darn close to a year I picked up my Bible. I don't really know what I was looking for, but I knew God wasn't giving up on me. He was and still is pulling me out of my mess, and helping me become the person He wants me to be, not the one who I wanted to be or thought I wanted to be. While flipping through the pages I found this totally awesome tid-bit. I know it's somewhere in John, don't know exactly where cause I'm taking it outta the message Bible, but here goes. This is when Jesus is telling the people that He is the bread of life.
Jesus said, "I am the bread of life. The person who aligns with me hungers no more and thirsts no more, ever. I have told you this explicitly because even though you have seen me in action, you don't really believe me. (now the good stuff) EVERY PERSON THE FATHER GIVES ME EVENTUALLY COMES RUNNING TO ME. AND ONCE THAT PERSON IS WITH ME, I HOLD ON AND DON'T LET GO.
Now how amazing is that no matter how bad u think you have screwed things up Jesus is right there holding you, and He isn't going to let you fall. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get rid of God. I wanted so bad to live my own life, break the molds, defy authority, be my own person, I just messed it all up. I know God has something huge planned for me, but I got scared and ran instead. I wasn't really ready to give up EVERYTHING to Him. Now I'm ready. I'm ready to stop running and start living. I'm ready to take that leap, and I'm gonna have the determination and perseverance to do it and not screw it up. I have tried many times and failed. Like Thomas Edison said he didn't fail he just found 2000 ways not to make the lightbulb. I found many different ways not to live life, I don't regret them ya I made mistakes but I'm not letting those hold me down. God's gonna see me through, and I'm gonna stick w/ Him to the bitter end this time. No more me, just Him working through me. Thank you for reading my rambles. God is amazing. I'll leave you with that.
Jensen